Re-posted from Smashing Gender Change by the admirable Hope “Street Voice” Lye:
The ‘Not Guilty’ verdict for Ched Evans in his recent re-trial for rape has left many women angry and rightfully so. This has sent rape trials back 30 years where the defence can use any means to attack the victim as what was seen in this recent trial.
Women no longer have any rights in the UK courts. They are just pieces of meat to a misogynistic legal system. It isn’t just rape trials either. Look at the failure to prosecute men in domestic violence trials? Point proven!
I want to look at this from another angle though. An angle where I identify as a gender non-conforming male and how I see ‘Good Men / ‘Feminist Men’ and how I feel about their actions towards women..
Here I am on the streets of Birmingham a few weeks ago. I’m handing out Mr Right / Mr Wrong cards which are made by the Freedom Programme. Their website is HERE.. I go out dressed as I identify 24/7. I go out dressed in what are considered women’s clothes / shoes. I also go out alone without any security and only a few times I have had a photographer present.
While giving out the Mr Right / Mr Wrong cards I get to talk to a lot of people. Many are curious about how I live / identify. In talking I manage to raise issues which include domestic violence, rape, sexism, misogyny etc and why men should be doing a lot more to making this world a better place.
Women tend not see me as a threat and have been very happy to see me on the streets supporting them. I get to hear a lot of shocking stories involving women being raped, murdered and beaten up in relationships. In fact I get women coming up to me when they feel the need to talk even if I’m just out grocery shopping. I listen and point them in the right direction for help.
Men on the other hand tend to throw abuse or throw MRA stats at me. I constantly prove them wrong on all counts. Then it tends to be physical. I can read their minds. ‘How dare that queer tranny show me up like that’
They soon back down when I respond to their threats. It wouldn’t be good for their image if they got slapped by a man in a skirt.
Only TWICE in two years have other men got involved to the diffuse the situation.
Where are these ‘Good Men’ / ‘Feminist Men’ when I get grief while on the streets both educating, listening and sharing experiences? They’re nowhere to be seen!
Friday 14th October 2016 news came through that Ched Evans had been found not guilty. Many women took to social media to voice their anger as it soon become clear that women had been failed on the way the defence fought it’s case. Rape trials in the UK had now been set back 30 years. In response men spat their dummies out at these women and now the rape threats had begun. As I write this article on the night of Sunday 16th October 2016 those threats are still rife.
I ask again. Where are these ‘Good Men’ / ‘Feminist Men’? Women speak out against Ched Evans and men threaten to rape them but why are these so called good men / feminist men remaining silent? Is it down to the fact that they don’t want other men challenging their masculinity! Even these so called ‘Good Men’ / ‘Feminist Men’ refuse to have their masculinity challenged! That’s a disgrace. You’ve just thrown EVERY woman under the bus.
While women are angry they are thrown under the bus by men time and time again I for one can see why they have a special resentment for ‘Good Men’ / ‘Feminist Men’ because these so called allies are traitors. They fail women by not wanting to rock the boat and have other men question their masculinity.
Before you so called ‘Good Men / Feminist Men’ say anything in response to what I have just said, you need to re-think your position. Women have a right to be angry.
What should ‘Good Men’ / ‘Feminist Men’ do? Well for starters stop invading feminist spaces. Then stop pretending you are allies to women and the feminist movement. More importantly stop mansplaining calling yourselves feminist men!
Then what you need to do is repackage your masculinity. Address the issues of masculinity and start looking deep inside to change yourself for the better and then listen to women. Take on board everything they say to you.
Once you have addressed your own issues as men then you need to start calling out sexist / misogynist men. Don’t turn a blind eye. Make sure you put those men in their place. Don’t let them get away with their male violence.
As a man I am happy to sit down with any ‘Good Man’ / ‘Feminist Man’ and help you be a better ally to women. As you’ve noticed I’m not your conventional male and have addressed those issues I speak of here. You only have to ask.
Maybe one day all men can stop treating women like second class citizens and instead we make a safer world where women don’t have to live in fear! A world where women don’t fear cat calling, domestic violence, rape and murder!
Words: Hope Lye
Photos: Joseph Kalala Photography
Read Hope’s blog:
Hope Lye promoting women’s rights