Gender: what it is and why it sucks

Gender sucks. It’s a load of made-up rules about what people must do and what they shouldn’t. It’s based on your biological sex, but it is in no way the same thing. It’s socially enforced through shame: this affects boys/men as well as women and girls, and hits women a whole lot harder.

Gender makes boys & men think they have to be sexually aggressive, even violent, and gives them a sense of automatic superiority over women. It makes girls & women believe they must be pretty, sexy, soft & yielding. We are taught these rules from the moment we’re born – and before! – but they have no basis in fact.

Gender rules change over time, and are different in various cultures around the world. This proves they’re not natural, but are basically fashion.

Gender Rules -

I’m not particularly unfeminine, but I have no “gender identity”. I’m just me! Women & girls spend a lot of time fighting against gender expectations – it’s nonsense to say we’re all comfy & happy about it.

We’re being judged all the time on our gender performance: are we too sexy, not feminine enough, not pushy enough, too determined, not friendly enough, too ingratiating, too domesticated, not houseproud enough…? I don’t believe there is an end to that list!

But we can break free.

We can decide to be who we are, never mind what ‘gender’ says we should, and let everyone do their own thing too.

Gender says that if you’re female, you should be gentle & vain.
It DOES NOT say that if you’re tough & aggressive, you must be male.

Because that would be ridiculous, right?! Everyone’s a mixture of all sorts of qualities, we don’t need to change our bodies just to fit the gender rules.

Here’s just a few examples of how we’re taught about our gender.

Gender conditioning -

Self-identification: Don’t erase biological women -

Gender conditioning -

Gender conditioning -

Gender conditioning -

Gender schemas -


And here’s the actual definition of gender.


Definitions of gender
Gender = feminine or masculine. This is not the same as sex.
Sex = male or female (biological, genetic)
Gender looks different at various times and in different places, because it’s cultural.
Gender changes. Sex does not.

You can read what the World Health Organisation (WHO) says about gender here: